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RPlog:Left Unsaid
Sabrina watches Leia go with a mixed air of empathy and confusion, though she can understand readily enough the duties which often tax her, even when she is trying to just sit and relax. It would likely keep her mind off of Han though, or at least keep her from worrying about him. Sabrina eyes the wine bottle, thoughtfully, before eating some of her meal, letting the silence fill the void for the time being. A worried look crosses the Jedi's face as his sister is summoned away to the medical bay once more, and he stares down at his plate as if he doesn't even see it. "I hope she's all right," he mumbles to himself, picking up a fork and turning over a few leafy green without actually bringing any of them to his mouth. Sabrina looks up from her food, briefly catching the tail end of Luke's concerned look and she smiles at him, her hand touching his forearm and giving it a light squeeze. "She's fine. I talked to the droids myself after she left. That blaster wound was more serious that she let on, but she's been treated and will be just fine." She moistens her dry lips and continues "And she'd be upset if you didn't eat and restored your strength." Luke's breath catches, and he chuckles, glancing at Sabrina gratefully. "I know, I know," he sighs, spearing a vegetable with his fork and slicing off a good-sized bite. "She'll be fine. It's hard not to worry." Without really thinking, he squeezes the hand she's rested on his arm in his fingers, drawing reassurance from her presence, and the fork never quite makes it to his mouth as he smiles at the woman beside him. "You should have seen her as a kid. Always setting Uncle Bail on edge." Sabrina's smile widens a bit. "It was her stubborness mostly. Always thinking she could accomplish something beyond her means. She was right most of the time. I can see now that it's a family trait." Her fond recollections from child hood give way to the present and she finds herself staring back at Luke before some noise or flicker of motion within the lounge pulls her to reality. "It's her greatest talent. Who can deny Princess Leia of Alderaan when she has her mind set on something?" Luke releases her hand and reaches for the heavy winecup, taking a generous swallow of the stuff before resuming his meal for a few minutes. Only once the maddening hunger in his belly has been sated does he slow and wash down the last few bites with another sip of wine. "I... wish I had seen her as a kid," he says quietly, staring out at the viewport where Calamari hangs like a beautiful, glowing sea gem against the backdrop of velvet black space. Sabrina resumes her meal as well, eating a good portion of the bounty she'd ordered before relenting and pushing her plate back. She smiles wistfully at Luke's statement and idly turns her fork on her plate. "She was much shorter." comes the good natured comment followed by a quiet chuckle. "But not much different." A wistful smile plays across Luke's face as he gazes at her over the rim of his winecup. "Good, because I can't picture her much different. Me, on the other hand... well, I was much different. In fact, if you knew me back then, you probably wouldn't have had anything to do with me." He sinks back in his chair, cradling the wine in his hands and giving her a playfully challenging look. "Oh I don't know. I'd say I had a fairly good tolerance for obnoxious young men." Sabrina counters in a light hearted tone. She sits forward reaching for a glass finally and the small sampling of wine she'd allowed to be poured into it and takes a taste. It was a bit different from the one they'd shared back on Coruscant, tannins and flavors masked with a boquet all unique to this particular vintage. It was pleasant. "Comes with having six brothers. All older. Though I do admit my curiosity leads me to wonder what you might have been like in your younger years. Far more stubborn I think, if I could hazzard a guess, with your head in the stars." "Restless, bothersome, distracted," Luke adds to the litany. "My sister was off changing the direction of the galaxy and leading the movement againt the Empire, while I was just trying to get permission to go bulls-eye some womprats with my so-called friends in Beggar's Canyon." He turns the winecup around in his hands and grins at her widely. "Six brothers, huh? No wonder you have so much patience." Sabrina tries to picutre the carefree young man in the seasoned, wizened Jedi Master before her. She rests her elbow on the edge of the table, palm cradling the side of her face as she studies him. A thoughtful smile spreads across her lips, remembering that glimmer of youth which she'd seen in him with the swoop back on Coruscant. "Don't down play the innocence which you were privvy to for so long. It's part of what makes you the strong centered person that you are today. Besides you've done enough to change the galaxy yourself, and continue to do so as you train up a new order of Jedi." The Jedi also leans his elbows on the table, returning her gaze as she looks him over in search of the callow youth he had once been. "I'll try to live up to your confidence in me," Luke says, a bit more seriously now, though he catches onto the thought flickering across her consciousness and arches his brows in surprise. "You want to go joyriding again, don't you? I sense a little reckless streak behind those beautiful violet eyes." There's a pinprick of embarrasment at the fact that Luke had picked up her thoughts so easily, but she doesn't let it remain, instead she widens her smile, but not before taking a sip from the wine, feeling the warmth of it down her throat before she nods. "There is. I will admit it." Her glass tilts to the side, ruby liquid surging forward to the edge of the glass, held to the rim by the tension on the surface before she uprights it and glances back to Luke. "Why do you think my parents sent me off to the Terhali academy so young. It was the only way they felt they could control my wreckless behavior. And my brothers were no help, encouraging me left and right." She chuckles softly. "But yes, I did enjoy our escapade through the Parliamentary district." As she speaks, Luke nods his approval of her youthful high spirits. "We'll do it again sometime. Wonder if there are any good two-seater fighters on this thing... Ah, well." He finishes off the wine and sets the cup down. "I suppose I'm acting a bit like one of your brothers. Still a bad influence." "You're not at all like any of my brothers." Sabrina disagrees lifting her head and shaking it, even as her arm falls in an arc to the table. "Not by any comparison what so ever." Nevermind that she'd never entertained the same thoughts about her brothers as she did about the upstart Jedi and she's quick to keep those from surfacing, fearing Luke's perception was still on target as it had been with her rememberance of the swoop ride. He is her mentor, he is Leia's brother, she reminds herself with a mental nod, if not a physical one and finishes the wine from her glass, placing the empty goblet on the table near her plate. On cue, Luke lifts the bottle and refills his own cup before tipping it in the direction of Sabrina's, hiw brows arched questioningly. "More?" he offers, before adding, "Though I can't help but wonder if it is a good thing or a bad thing that I'm not like your brothers. Esteemed sons of Alderaan they must have been." Sabrina gives a small nod, pushing her glass forward a fraction while commenting. "They were all fine men." It doesn't take her long to catch the humor in her own words, noting that she'd not intended it but carries on anyway. "Not to say that you're not...fine..a fine man..." Oh blazing sons of the Elders! She borrows an Orphelican phrase and doesn't wait for Luke to completely retreat the bottle before she's covering up her messed up wording with a few generous gulps. The Jedi gives her a perplexed look as she's suddenly eager to gulp down the wine she had so delicately been sipping before. "Well, I try," he says, clearing his throat, but his lips twitch with a suppressed laugh, and it soon turns into a full-fledged grin as he simply watches her. "You seem to like this wine better," he notes, lifting the bottle so that he can study its label. "I'll have to get some of this for the basilica since you approve of it." Sabrina swallows that last gulp just as he comments and she coughs, catching wine down the wrong tube eyes tearing. She lowers the glass, looking at Luke a bit sheepishly and shakes her head, waiting for that itch to subside so she doesn't cough again before speaking. "No, you don't have to do that on my account. Discarding the glass she returns it to the table and puts both hands up, palms out "And I don't drink." Her lips twisting wryly as he seems to have made a liar out of her for a second time. "Alright I don't drink often." Luke looks alarmed as Sabrina chokes on her beverage, and gives her a firm clap across the shoulderblades. "You don't drink much, I get it," he says wryly. "Just when I'm around. I understand." Han really would be proud of him, he tells himself. Driving women to drink and making them choke to death. What charm! What panache! It's a wonder he doesn't have every woman in the galaxy eating out of his hand. Snorting at his own self-deprecating thoughts, Luke tops off his winecup and takes a long swallow. Sabrina recovers from her near choking and furrows her brows, taking another sip to help soothe her burning throat then allows herself a small chuckle. "Well, yes. Truthfully, when you are around, because you're the only one that ever offers me a drink. Even when I protest it. I'm starting to wonder if I have any kind of self control around you at all." Her insinuation makes Luke bow his head, clearly ashamed of his track record. "That's... not the impression I've been trying to give. I'm sorry." His cheeks have colored, perhaps from the wine, as he picks up the discarded cork and wedges it back into the top of the opened bottle. "It's not a good thing if a Master is not encouraging self-control in his student." Maybe he was taking the wrong tack with her, portraying himself more as a friend than a teacher, crossing a blurred line somewhere along the way that should not have been breeched. Thoughts whirl through his mind, and he gazes at her with a rare, unguarded expression of longing and regret. "No, no it's not you, trust me." Sabrina says woefully, curious at the change in expression and she straightens, ignoring the wine which remains in her glass for now. "Or perhaps it is." Sab considers, feeling the wine she has imbibed begin to chip away at her usual resolve. "When I'm around you, like this, away from the guise of student and teacher..." she pauses losing ground and shakes her head, waving a hand to dimiss what she was going to say and turns away from him, perhaps not quite so plied by the wine afterall. What she says seems to confirm the fears that had been chasing themselves inside Luke's head. "It's easy to forget our roles," he fills in for her when she goes quiet, refusing to finish her words. "It's my fault." His thumb grazes over the wine bottle's label and he nods his head gravely, coming to a decision. Luke eases out of the booth, pushing himself up with palms flat on the table. "I will try to remember my place from now on. It's the right thing to do." No more reckless swoop rides, late night walks upon the edge of the Western Sea's shore, sharing Alderaanian wine late at night. All at once it all seems so absurdly inappropriate, and he hates himself for wanting more than he deserved, for giving into selfish desires for companionship. He swallows hard, turning away from the table, leaving Sabrina and the half-empty bottle behind. It was the same argument she'd been giving herself for weeks now. Reminding herself that Luke was her mentor. That the feelings she'd been hiding were inappropriate, and didn't belong. That a student should know her place. It is what had kept her silent in those moments when she wanted nothing more than to declare her feelings for him. To follow Leia's urging and simply let her sentiment be known. But there's a distinct pang of hurt which hits her as she watches Luke make his decision and she's pitted between saying something and remaining silent once more. If she were a stronger woman, a more resolved woman she'd stand and lay it all out right then and there. Whatever happens happens, but she holds herself in check, emotions tearing with a tumult behind her violet gaze and she watches in quiet torture as Luke stands, turning from the table. Her hand moves unguided to his arm, grasping at the dark fabric, fingers curling about his forearm as she allows herself one last burst of courage. "Luke, no..." "What?" he whispers hoarsely, looking down at her hand wrapped around his arm, his fingers curling into his palms until he is clenching his fists. Luke doesn't pull away, as much as he might want to -- needing to escape those beseeching violet eyes -- he instead merely shakes his head at whatever protest she might be about to make. "It will be all right, Sabrina. Let me go." /I can't/ Her words go verbally unspoken again, but she can comply physically, letting her fingers uncurl and slip away, her hand falling without the aid of muscle to her side, pulled by gravity. What had gone so wrong? Why did she feel like she'd been suddenly socked in the stomach with a ton of permacrete bricks? She couldn't force him to stay if his desire was to leave. What did she expect afterall? For the Jedi Master to forget his role? To abandon his duty to satisfy her own stupid selfish desires? She drops back into the seat heavily, turning away from Luke with a brittle expression. Stoic, but ready to crumble the minute he is gone from her sight. There are too many emotions for him to process, some masked, some utterly hidden, some misinterpreted, so that Luke's mind is a whirlwind of confusion and doubt. Luke is torn, wanting to flee headlong from this confrontation that can only bring him pain. He reads her face without understanding, clasps her shoulder and grudgingly feels the warmth of her body, shakes his head slowly as his eyes become wet. "What... what do you want from me?" he asks in a shuddering, uncertain voice. She had fully expected him to leave, so the touch on her shoulder surprises her and Sabrina tenses. His question too is enough to send her into a scattered confusion and she stands turning to face him more directly, shaking her head, drawing on what fleeting understanding that remains. Her emotions are raw, vibrant in her eyes as she looks back at him unblinkingly. There would be no risk of misinterpreting them, not as openly as she is looking at him now. "Something I shouldn't" Comes her pained reply, before she turns her head away, unable to hold his gaze for another moment. A powerful bolt of shock courses through Luke's body as he feels the rush of unhindered emotion wash over him. Scarcely believing it, he shakes his head, taking an unsteady step backward. "What?" he rasps, not knowing what else to say, His powers of speech have suddenly departed, and he stares at her profile even as she looks away from him. But both his hands are on her shoulders, and he gives her a shake, as if that could knock sense back into her. "No," he says, head shaking more vigorously. "No, not me. It's... not possible." And so it was done. She had no where to retreat, no guise to hide behind, no wall to ensconce her feelings. It was all out in the open, despite her better judgment and later Sabrina would pass of her lapse in judgment on the wine. That accursed wine which she should have declined more forcefully. She should have kept her silence, a thought which strikes her even as Luke's words cut through her stupor and she winces, 'not possible' hitting her as sharply as if he'd physically hit her. Defeated and anguished she slumps into the seat, unintentionally hitting her forgotten wineglass with her elbow and sending it toppling over on the table til it rolls and shatters with a crystalline echo on the ground. "I'm sorry." She rasps, lost to how to respond. As soon as the wineglass shatters, a flurry of activity begins. Two janitorial droids -- all flashing lights and busy beepings -- scurry over on their repulsorfields, dabbing up the mess and sucking the broken shards up long nozzles meant just for the task. Luke glances at them distractedly, then back at the forlorn woman slumping away from him as she settles back in the dark booth. He winces, and turns swiftly away, crunching over the remaining shards of glass in his haste to escape the uncomfortable scene. Sabrina is unaware of the sudden flurry of activity from the droids, numb to everything around her, even Luke's retreat. She buries face in her hands, ignoring the incessant beeping of the server droid who is apparently wanting to find out if there was something wrong with the meal or if she required another glass. Finding a reserve of strength from somwhere within, she forces herself to stand, grabbing at the corked bottle still fairly full and turns, striding away from the table, heading for the lift, leaving the shattered mess of glass behind her and the remains of the meal she had shared.